Breaking the Barriers Wide open
Motherhood & Mental Health. Breaking the barriers wide open.
Don’t forget his backpack today. Did anyone feed the fish? Pick up both prescriptions today, look up when the dog had his last vaccinations, and text mom back about this weekend. Deadline is on Friday, band camp is next week, and you still have to meal plan. Need that permission slip signed, money for the school fundraiser, and almond milk for smoothies.
These are the things that go through my mind every single day. Tasks not to forget, things to pick up, and appointments needing to be made. I have a feeling those thoughts happen with you too momma. Am I right?
it's no wonder we're on medication
Ready for this statistic? One in four women is on antidepressants
We are told at a young age that we get married, buy a house, and have babies. We are never told how hard it will be to find Prince Charming. How that white picked fence comes with a heavy mortgage payment. And those babies…they will need you 100% of the time. And not just need you, but rely on you for every single need they require to survive. Can we say a lot of pressure?
Each one of my children was topped off with a big fat dose of postpartum depression. The entire 4th trimester can be a recipe for disaster. You go into the hospital, have a beautiful baby (maybe a good birth…maybe not), visitors come to relish on the fact that you did so good and she is so gorgeous, and then the hormones crash.
And when do the hormones crash? Right around that time they send you home with a brand new life you are responsible for. Ohhhh, the irony. “Ok, here is your baby. Now, we know you’re getting ready to head to cuckoo town, so here’s a new baby that will eat every 2 hours, will need you 24/7, and you are required to keep it alive. Good luck to you.” It’s so wonder we feel like we’ve lost our ever loving minds.
You never had any mood swings, sleep deprivation, or cry spells? Awesome for you. For the rest of us, just know it’s not only normal, but it’s going to happen.
Good time for a disclaimer: Postpartum depression vs. postpartum psychosis is very very different. If at any time you feel like you are going to hurt yourself, your baby, or anyone else…go straight to the ER.
I'm talking about depression, not psychosis
I’m talking about feeling so overwhelmed at times that you can’t breathe. The amount of pressure that is on moms (parents really) is unlike anything else. The picture perfect life with the pristine home, and amazing marriage is what is strived yet rarely obtained. Why is that? Why is it that the goal are those things? Because social media has snowballed those images.
We are lead to believe that everyone else has those things and we’re left in the gutters when we don’t. When we see and feel real moms and their struggles, we are allowed a weight to be lifted. We feel less alone, and we don’t have to rely on our own knowledge of what is real.
here's what is real
*Motherhood is hard. Parenting is hard. Raising tiny humans to not grown up a** hole adults is freakin hard.
*It’s ok to say you need help. It’s ok to ask a friend to come over because you’re not sure you can deal with a screaming toddler for one more second.
*It’s ok to stay at home with them, it’s ok to work outside of the home.
*It’s ok to go on medication. It’s ok to not. It’s ok to not know how to ask for that medication, but still go in and try.
*It’s ok to say that motherhood is hard. That doesn’t make you a shitty parent, it’s make you a real one.
*It’s ok to block or unfriend anyone who makes you feel unworthy.
*It’s ok that you just blew that chicken nugget off with your un-brushed teeth because it landed on the floor board of the van.
*It’s ok you put a towel over that mid-might accident they just had in bed and deal with it in the morning.
*It’s ok to shop at thrift stores for your kids clothes. It’s ok to not.
Here is what I know
You will often find me un-following social media accounts that make me feel like I’m not doing enough. I will un-friend people on FB that judge other moms. I will fight for anyone who believes that they are unworthy. Because I’m there with you momma. I’m here in the throws of parenthood/motherhood with you. I know what this feels like.