The Daily struggle
I don’t know about you, but I know I’m a good mom, but a lot of the times my mind is somewhere else. I’m doing homework with the kids, but I’m thinking about dinner. I’m tucking them into bed, but rushing it because I want to watch my show. I’m there, but my mind wanders so greatly and so often, I’m afraid I’m missing it.
I am missing it
I was thinking a lot yesterday about my kids. My daughter asked me no more than 15 times if we were going to have the lemonade stand she so desperately wants to do. As I went through the motions of saying repeatedly ‘yes, honey we’ll talk about it,’ I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of guilt.
I am missing it. I’m run so thin at times with remembering every damn thing I need to that I forget to play. Sit down and do a puzzle with her. Listen to his story about what that particular animal was used for in the olden days (something about a particular animal’s butt. Dead serious). I rush through story time if I even get to do it at this point and I feel like I’m drowning.
We went out to dinner tonight as a celebration of sorts on the kids graduating from kinder, 2nd, & 8th grade and as I looked around I remembered how when they weren’t around I always felt like something was missing. Something I didn’t understand. Ryder made a joke about my tooth popping out and we all laughed and it was then I realized that these mundane times are what weave our family stories. I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to just cruise through life and fail to notice the joys they bring to our lives every single day.
I want to be that mom
I want to be that mom that looks back on her life and know that I gave everything I had to have the most important relationships I could have with the people who mean the most to me. The process starts with change. I don’t mean changing everything all at once, but maybe setting up time during the day to actually play with my kids.
Summer is undoubtedly a great time to start because they are in your face lol. ALL.DAY.LONG. lol. But in all actuality, it’s a perfect time to start carving out time to really connect with them. Long days filled with sunshine, followed by story time at night can begin change. Small changes will always reap the best results. At least for me.
We head to the beach this week and I feel like it’s a fresh start to begin some new rituals. We’re bringing some board games and plan on playing all week long. Here’s to all you moms trying your very best with what you have. I see you. I am you.